Red Spider Lily
by HiddenSight48
Summary: Unknown regret. Reincarnated for anew. Surprisingly, going through a second life whilst successfully achieving something that she had lost in the first life is memorable for her. However, when everything spiral down into complete nothingness, the only logical thing to do is to keep moving forward and hope for the best. Self-insert; OC - Shounen-Ai, Yaoi, Genderbend


**Introduction (somewhat):**

…well, this is rather awkward.

I don't exactly know how many people would be reading this so-called introduction part, and I am not one of those social butterflies with a great conversation starter in mind either.

I'm just… me? Ahem! …see what I mean. Anyway, enough of my incessant rambling, just call me Hid-san for short. To be honest, at first, I am merely an avid reader of this particular site. However, after reading a huge amount of fan fiction stories in a continuous manner, I finally decided to create one of my own.

Nurarihyon No Mago seems like a good category to start with. A few **warnings** in advance though, I am a **slow updater** at heart; the **inevitable amateurish writing** or **typing skills**, **grammatical errors**, and **spelling mistakes** will be present; and the **main genre** of this fan fiction story revolves around **Shounen-Ai** and **Yaoi**.

So, please expect some **perverted scenes** and **possible smut** up ahead (the latter may take place **if** I have the guts to do so). Other than that… Enjoy!

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**Red Spider Lily **

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**Prologue **

**Anew **

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The incident took place in a mere blink of an eye.

Without a single notice or prior warning, the two vehicles crashed into one another and the powerful force from the huge explosion push her backwards. Severely wounded, the teen's life slowly ended.

**Darkness ascends, and light is nowhere to be seen. **

Screams from every direction reverberates within her ears. The cool wind breeze seems to strangely shift whereas a sense of vertigo washed over her.

**The unnerving cold engulfs the growing life before the protective warmth take over. **

There was no regret that manage to worm into her heart, only the ever-present lethargic sensation. Thus, there wouldn't be a single attachment that might linger within her soul. Or so she thought.

**Silently thinking for an answer, the inability to speak and move about becomes somewhat of a daily confusion. **

Nothing matters any longer as she exhaled her final breath – relinquishing her hold from the lifeless, physical form.

**The soothing humming-like sound continues to resound throughout the warm void. **

Along with it, the unwanted lonely life, in which has unknowingly rejected her existence from the very beginning.

**Calming the mind and easing the heart. **

Her dying spirit wavers and slowly moulds itself into a ball of spiritual light. Flying in a sort of frenzy within the vicinity of the place where her lifeless form lies.

**However, the peaceful days abruptly ends as the world becomes suffocating on its own right. **

Until an unknown force practically leads her to an opening, that instead of towards the spirit world, it leads to the dimension of another.

**The moment seems to be painfully slow whereas the blinding light makes its appearance known shortly after. **

Thus, her journey begins… with an alternate twist casts upon her new existence.

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"Congratulations for you both, Sakura-san, Shinosuke-san. He's a healthy, baby boy."

The loud wail slowly recedes before it is replaces with the occasional gurgle.

"He's beautiful, Sakura. Thank you – truly."

"Yes, he is. Do you have a name for him?"

"N-Not really… I was too anxious to think of one."

"Then, if you don't mind. Let's just call him Yuriko instead – a child of lily. I'm sure it'll suits him very well."

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Family.

I understand the concept of it. I was familiar with the comforting warmth it brought.

However, it's a pity that I was only being able to feel it in such a short amount of time.

I didn't exactly blame anyone for the incident that took place; other than reprimanded myself a bit too late for it.

If I were to hold myself back and pretended not to be able to stand on my two feet that early, I wonder if they would care for me like any other kids and give the attention I desperately need as I grew older.

But alas, it is nothing more than an excuse – one after the other. I have no right to complain. After all, I accept my inevitable fate and died a silence death. The only thing that I could do now is to follow the cycle of life.

Though, it would seem that _Fate_ has another plan for me and my tiny existence.

The first time I found myself completely immobilized (with the occasional twitching of movements) and unable to open my eyes properly, I instantly panicked; wailing my lungs out in a literal kind of sense.

"Omedetōgozaimasu… Sakura-san… Shino—san… akachan…" A feminine voice speaks out – much to my confusion in hearing the foreign language, though it seems to be slightly gibberish in my ears.

"…utsukushī…" The familiar soothing voice seems to calm me and I gurgle in response, "…no namae…"

I finally recognize that language as Japanese; however, the reason on why they are talking in that particular language when I am clearly an American truly escapes me.

On another note, I tried to move around for the umpteenth time that day yet something restricts me. The protective warmth that I comprehend as a loving embrace engulfs me; something that I almost forgotten how it felt like.

"…shinpai shite…" Despite not being able to observe my surroundings, my awareness is on high alert as realization slowly dawn on me.

"…Yuriko – yuri no ko…"

No matter how much I want to deny the true fact, I couldn't alter the reality that has been pushed upon me. As much as I hate to admit it, and accept it, I am now a child; an infant, a new-born, a baby. Take your personal pick. I don't even know if this is supposed to be a blessing or a curse.

If it were up to me, I prefer to remain in a deep slumber and never to be disturbed again. I truly have enough of dealing everything on my own, alongside the fake promises given to me. It was lonely and cold – I really don't want to go through the entire ordeal for a second time, that's for certain.

As if sensing my discomfort and inner turmoil, the protective warmth continues to spread throughout my tiny form, in which it instantly filled me with love and care.

I want to reject it and save the unnecessary pain that will soon follow…but I couldn't. This warmth, despite my past, is sincere and genuine for what's it worth.

Perhaps, I should give **it**, this new life, another chance. A risky gamble it may be, a part of me wanted to continue hoping for something anew. I just wish that I have made the right decision with this.

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Touch. Prick.

"Oh, my… Yu-chan. Are you alright?"

"…I'm fine, o-kaa-san. You don't need to worry. It's only a small wound."

Hold. Treat.

"Mou~ Yu-chan should know better than to touch the roses' stem barehanded like that. Soft as it is, the thorns are sharp enough to injure and fairly wound you."

"Gomen'nasai, o-kaa-san… I'll try to be careful the next time."

Smile. Caress.

"And I am sure you would, my dear lily. Of that, I have no doubt."

"…thank you, o-kaa-san…"

My chest is instantly filled with the nostalgic warmth of a mother's love. I return her smile with a shy one of my own. The atmosphere in the afternoon seems to ease and calm our mind.

Come to think of it, no matter how hard it is for me to move on and forget the past, the current family that I longed to possess makes everything (including my prior decision to remain) worth a while.

"Now, if you don't mind this mother of yours asking. Care to tell me on why you purposely hurt your hand like that?" My mother gently inquires, coaxing me to give her an answer, in a subtle manner.

"…not really…" I answer after a moment of hesitation before turning around in favour of poking the rose petals, "…I'm just… trying to satiate my curiosity. That's all."

It's true. As of late, I have been bothered by something; a feeling that urges me to make several assumptions regarding my current state. I was reincarnated into this world, in which I thought resemble my own. The exception being that this world is more, for a lack of better word, cartoonish.

"You're curious… of what, Yu-chan?"

I stop poking on the flower's petals and stare at my bandaged right palm, "…of many things, I suppose. For example, the fact that I heal in a faster rate compared to any normal human being."

Silence descends upon us. I turn to stare at my mother's face, concern overwhelm her expression though she hides it well. "…o-kaa-san?"

She merely let a strain smile grace her lips, caressing the side of my face tenderly, "Yuriko-chan. You are intelligent despite being terribly young. O-kaa-san is really proud of you, always remember that."

Exhaling a sigh and deliberately leaning to her touch, I close my eyes to savour the moment and her presence alike. I understand the hidden meaning behind her words and the reason on why she makes that kind of face. After all, I tend to do the same every time someone asked me about the relationship I had with my negligent parents in the previous world.

I continue to open my eyes and cast a questioning gaze at her enchanting sky-blue orbs.

"I know that, o-kaa-san. I'll be sure to remember it well." I take her warm hands into my slightly cold ones, "But… don't you think you should be honest with me?"

Her hands tremble yet I grasp it in reassurance. I continue, "Only if you're ready to tell me all about it though. I won't judge and I won't force you. I'll just be here to listen. Okay?"

This time I manage to make out a genuine smile on my face, however, I am a bit startle as my mother embrace me tightly into her arms, "…o-kaa-san?"

"Arigatō… Hontoni arigatō, Yu-chan."

Momentarily confuse at the older woman's reaction, the sensation of understanding and acceptance course through me afterward.

I return her embrace with my own, burying my face into her shoulder, inhaling the comforting scent of lilac that I seem to notice only linger around her form.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Mother slightly tense at the sound but continue to relax a moment later, probably realizing the real identity of the one whom currently knocking at our front door. That particular ability interests me. However, on the other hand, I feel significantly tired for some reason.

"Don't force yourself, my dear lily. Just go to sleep. O-kaa-san will be here to protect you." She coos at me after seeing how hard I try just to stay awake.

Listening to the humming of a familiar lullaby, I hold onto her words and fell into a peaceful slumber.

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**.**

I am currently around the age of 3 years old.

As a belated birthday gift, my newly-found parents have decided to bring me to my grandmother's house for a visit. It seems to be somewhere around a town called Ukiyoe. The name somewhat rings a bell to me, however, I don't exactly remember on what it might relate to.

That is why; I merely keep it in mind for a later date – _food for thought_, if you may.

"Here you go, Yuriko-chan. Play nice with your little cousin, alright." My mother places me gently into the large-sized playpen, smiling the entire time. I watch her leave and moving towards the chattering adults whom currently crowd near the dining table.

"Pway?" I turn my attention towards the toddler sitting in front of me, hugging a kitten plushie close to her chest and inadvertently creating a rather adorable sight.

It— err, I mean, she intrigues me. The little girl most distinguishing features are her large dark-blue cat-like eyes and her short dark-green hair that reaches above her shoulder. Of course, the chubbiness of her cheeks doesn't escape me. Well, it's mostly because I possess the similar characteristic on my person – much to my self-esteem as a grown up in mind and… current gender.

"Pway w'at?" I return the question to her.

I know I am able to speak with much more sophisticated and complex words similar to that of an adult. However, mother has already told me to tone it down a bit when in the presence of others, especially after she told me the truth about…

"Neko!" She exclaims in an excited manner, showing her kitten plushie before pointing at the bunny plushie lying at my side.

That inadvertently brings me out of my reverie, and I proceed to pick up Usagi-san before looking back at the toddler with a tilt of my head, "Pway…Usagi-san?"

"Utati!" She cheerily exclaim while squealing. I inwardly flinch at her noticeable mistake in pronouncing Usagi-san's name.

…Yeah, I admit I'm being a bit defensive there. It's a natural reaction more than anything, really. After all, I was once an intelligent teen and technically speaking, I'm already an adult in the state of mind.

But still, I have nothing else to do inside this large-sized playpen anyway – better comply with the chibi for now.

"Okay." I answer, though I really wish I hadn't. The little twit— err, I mean, my newly-found cousin immediately tackle me in pure joy… with the additional slobber sticking onto me in the midst of it.

"Aww~ How adorable~"

I was lying on my back and manage to detect the source of the synchronising voices. True to my silent thought, everyone is currently standing around the playpen, including my parents.

However, due to the heavy baggage that seems to be squashing me at the moment, I force my hands upwards before making a grabbing motion towards my mother while pouting, "…o-kaa-san?"

"Ara~ Yu-chan's face is all red. Yukari-chan, can you give me a hand, please?" My mother is enjoying this, there's no doubt about it. I can practically feel the amusement radiating from her voice alone. "Alright, Yu-chan. Come along now~ Natsumi-chan too."

Nevertheless, I let her scoop my tiny form into her warm embrace before my father take over shortly afterward. As I lay my head onto his shoulder, I observe the people around me in a subtle manner.

From the information that I manage to gather, I am currently surrounded by the only living relatives in my father side of the family – my grandmother (though, she's in the kitchen preparing dinner with my uncle), my aunt, and my newly-found cousin.

"Shino-nii~ you're really lucky to have such an adorable son. I almost mistook him as a girl if Sakura-chan hasn't told me about his gender."

"Hahaha~ I know right." My father laughs heartily at the comment his younger sister made, "And you're not the only one to do just that either – me included."

Despite appearing like a tired toddler within his father's embrace, I am actually rather irritated at the main topic of this current conversation. It's not my fault for being born with an adorable face.

…that particular thought of mine doesn't seem to come out right. I need to remind myself, no matter how painful it is, that I am now a male and not a female any longer.

"Mou~ Shinosuke-kun… I don't think our little lily appreciate it if everyone keeps on assuming him as a girl. He's a growing boy after all."

My mother takes me away from my father's arms as the latter kisses my forehead tenderly. It would seem that I am more exhausted than I first thought I would be. It must've been caused by the long journey that we took to arrive here that finally getting to me.

"Sorry about that, Yuriko-chan. O-tou-san only states what's in his mind aloud." My father cheekily and cheerily added, "Well, I don't think our little lily bothered about it… much. Goodnight, Yuriko-chan."

I want to stay awake, but as always, mother often knew how to put me back into a peaceful slumber. Too tired to oppose her, I succumb to the lethargic sensation, unconsciously letting a soft smile to grace my lips.

As expected, they notice it and started to coo at me in a less than a subtle manner. However, I would truly appreciate it even more if the little rascal— err, I mean, my newly found cousin can stop patting my face (roughly) with glee.

It hurts…

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"…and that is what you called a cherry blossom tree, Yu-chan." Mother explains, pointing at the aforementioned tree, standing tall near our house. "It's beautiful, isn't it? Soon enough, the flowers will blossom and when they do, we can all go flower viewing together as a family."

"Flower viewing? Sakura?" I question, somewhat remembering the terms from my previous world.

My mother only smile down at me before patiently explaining the event known as flower viewing along with the meaning behind her own name.

It intrigues me, really. I have never attended or participated with something akin to a flower viewing in my previous life.

Although, there were the occasional picnics with my previous family when I was little, but it seems that the memories have already begun to fade away.

Not that I mind.

Precious as it may be, reminiscing the past where I innocently wish for it to last and continue, even as I grew up, only to be disappointed and heartbroken when it crumbles into thin air. I truly do not want to go through it all over again, if I can.

"I want to see it." I mumble aloud, my eyes trail down onto my lap.

"Hmm?"

I nervously fidget on my seat next to her at the porch outside the house before lifting my gaze to meet her sky-blue orbs, "The flower viewing, hanami. Can we all go and see it?"

"Of course we can, Yu-chan. O-kaa-san, o-tou-san, and you. All three of us can join the flower viewing together. It'll be fun, I'm sure. It's a promise, ne?"

"Umm…pinkie promises?" I hold out my pinkie finger and she link it with hers, a sincere smile on her lips.

Mother is a kind-hearted and loving individual, I conclude in silence. Despite the small doubt lingering in my heart, screaming to me that I will one day be betrayed once again, I simply cherish the precious moment that I manage to spend with her.

After all, the happiness of a family that she and father bring to me is worth more than anything that the world has to offer. I am really grateful to meet them. However, recently—

"Sakura, Yuriko-chan, tadaima~"

"Okaerinasai, Shinosuke-kun~ you're early today." Picking me up into her awaiting arms, mother continues to carry me inside and greet my father.

—I seem to be having a premonition of sort; a distinct sensation that an upcoming turbulent storm slowly approaches our family. Every time my mind stray to this very feeling, my blood and body becomes unbearably hot. And much to my chagrin, it seems to be getting stronger and stronger as time flies by.

"Yeah… I manage to finish all my work sooner than I thought it would be."

Father kisses my forehead before shifting me into his arms. Lifting my head and watching him greet me with a tired smile; I can only shyly return that appreciated gesture with my own.

"Well, you must be exhausted, Shinosuke-kun. I'll go and warm the water for you in the bath first. Then, we can have dinner together, alright."

Father put me down on the couch before turning around to face mother, "Arigatou ne, Sakura… Oh, right! I almost forgot. I want to talk to you about something related with Yuriko-chan afterward."

Mother tilts her head to the side in confusion and I merely blink a few times at him, a tad bit curious to know what he had in mind for me.

"It's about admitting him into the kindergarten next week." He finally said, scratching the back of his head in a sheepish manner.

"Oh… Well, I don't really mind. If you really think that he's ready, then its fine." My mother answers in a gentle tone, patting my head before walking away to do her intended chores.

"Hmm… That went well." Father mentions aloud, before looking at me with a mischievous grin – much to my unease. "Ne, Yuriko-chan~ it has been a while since we last bath together. Wanna join me?"

"Dun' wanna…" I reply (read: whine). Though, I don't think I manage to relay the significantly clear message to him as he practically slung me onto his shoulder like a bag of potatoes.

"I'll take that as a yes." To justify myself, I did not squeal like a little girl when this entire ordeal take place. "Now, come along, my adorable son. Off we go and clean ourselves in the bath."

Oh, dear kami! I thought I have already gone through the nightmares of life when living it out for the second time – the horrifying birthing process, the desperate early potty training, the abrupt adaptation of gender exchange, etc.

But, this is getting totally ridiculous! How many ants did I accidentally step on to deserve this kind of treatment?!

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"So~ how was your first day in the kindergarten?"

"It was alright… I guess." I answer, unconsciously furrowing my eyebrows in concentration while staring absent-mindedly at the ground and playing with the strap of my bag.

"Maa~ you'll get used to it soon enough. Just bear with it for now, alright Yu-chan?" I lift my head and watch as mother smile down at me, in which I gladly return. "Then, have you made any friend yet?"

I only shake my head as a 'no' gesture – a small portion within me assume that mother is going to be disappointed. Surprisingly, she merely nods in understanding before focusing on our route home ahead.

"Cherry blossom… not?" I halt in my steps, curious, and slowly blink at the direction of a particular tree near the small lake we're passing by. Mother continues to follow suit and stare at the so-called 'Sakura' tree.

"That is not a cherry blossom tree, Yu-chan." Mother corrected, tucking a strand of her beautiful dark-purple hair behind her ear. "From afar, you may mistakenly recognize it as a cherry blossom tree. But, when you look at it closely, it's actually a plum blossom tree."

I listen intently as she begins to explain in slight detail regarding the plum blossom that often mentioned in Japanese poetry as a symbol of spring and the plum's (or also known as 'Ume') function in a Japanese tradition.

It was rather knowledgeable to say the least; considering that I never indulge myself with the various types of flowers and plants in the previous world. I proceed to absorb the information like a sponge.

A soft tug of my hand urges me to look at my mother whom wanting me to follow her towards the plum blossom tree direction. As always, I comply.

I have a hunch that mother wants to show and teach me more about our unique heritage, as I tend to view it in my personal opinion – especially when there is practically no one in the vicinity at the moment.

"Yu-chan… I want to show you something special today. Be sure to pay attention, alright."

"But o-kaa-san," I begin, "won't there be people entering this area soon?"

"No need to worry, Yu-chan. I have already hid our presence by using my Fear. No ordinary human being would be able to see through it for sure." She explains in a confident manner.

I only nod my head in understanding, though that particular term 'Fear' seems to remind me of something (a fictional folklore, perhaps?), though, I am not entirely certain. "M'kay…"

Patting my head, mother merely asks me to observe and learn. Without letting go of my hand, she proceeds to put her free hand on the trunk of the tree; a glowing pink energy emanating from the said limb. My eyes widen in surprise and complete awestruck when the entire plum blossom tree literally bloom.

"Remember my words, Yu-chan. As a flower ayakashi, we possess the power to overwhelm any plants we desire; giving them a chance to start anew, or even taking their life force as our own." Mother sternly reprimands.

"Overwhelming any plants… we desire?" I parroted her words in an absent-minded manner. Mother retracts her hand from the blooming tree before turning to crouch down in front of me.

"That's right, Yu-chan. That is also the main reason why I intend for you to properly control your own power when the time comes. Understand?"

"I guess. But, if o-kaa-san can help me in managing this power, then why do you often worry every time I try to use it? Is it because I'm a… a mu-… a manyō?"

"…Ah… that…"

My heart clench as I watch her force out a chuckle before she continues to caress the side of my face; a gesture, that I notice, she takes when she tries to hide something from me.

"…is it correct?"

Mother is slightly taken aback when I question her with that inquiry before continuing, "My pronunciation about myself—that munyō… manyō… or something."

A sense of achievement grows within my chest as I hear her genuinely laugh, "No, no… It's not pronounced as munyō or manyō but hanyō, Yu-chan~"

I grin widely at her before taking her hand into my small one.

Mother looks at me weirdly with a hint of amusement. "Ne, o-kaa-san… Can we go home and eat sushi for dinner?"

I think she knows that I purposely change the topic to prevent her from being upset. Exactly on my 3rd birthday, she has already told me everything regarding my true identity.

I was terribly surprised – that much I can say. This entire time, my father is actually a normal human being whilst my mother is actually a yōkai, a flower ayakashi to be exact, thus, resulted with my existence as a hanyō.

Truth to be told, I couldn't believe what I was hearing back then, in favour of wanting to think the situation in a logical and rational manner. I was in a state of denial, couldn't help it, really.

Unfortunately, it didn't exactly end well for me – the aftermath being a continuous migraine and a lack of sleep. It was plain irritating, to say the least. Due to those reasoning alone, I finally decided that I have had enough and was force to accept the so-called truth.

It was mostly because I just don't want to face any more complication in my new life. The best course of action to take is to go along with the current flow, I guess.

And that was what I did; hopefully, with no other obstacles standing in my way.

Though, it would appear that _Fate_ really have issues with me when my mind decided that it was high time for me to begin remembering my nearly forgotten _'food-for-thought'_.

Piece by piece, bit by bit, I glue everything together as one – the anime appearance, yōkai, ayakashi, Fear, Nura-Gumi, Ukiyoe Town, Torii Natsumi, and Torii Hibari. My stomach churns in distaste and fear engulfs my entire form.

In my previous world and country, almost everyone knows of Japan's success in creating their own version of cartoon called anime. I wasn't much of a fan considering I only read any genres of a book I could lay my hands on, for the purpose of momentarily forgetting the harsh and cruel reality.

The manga(s) along with a site known as seems to be those few of the aforementioned reading materials that I indulge with. They were… entertaining to say the least, especially the latter.

However, it would seem that only one particular manga that manage to come to mind when I try to remember every manga title that I have once read – Nurarihyon No Mago created by Shiibashi Hiroshi-sensei.

The story plot revolves around the life of the main character named Nura Rikuo whom possess a quarter of yōkai blood within him while the rest is consists of human blood. The slight similarity between him and the present me is quite unnerving. I really, _really_ hope that our fate doesn't intertwine with one another – no matter how corny that might sound.

More specifically when his so-called yōkai yakuza clan has been and remain to be nemesis with that terrifying, vengeful 'kitsune', and along with the fact that my newly-found cousin, Torii Natsumi, seems to befriend with that Rikuo character in the near future.

My entire family wouldn't be safe anymore. Everything will turn into a nightmare and traumatize me for the rest of my second life! Oh, my God! This is really not good for my poor, tiny heart. I can only handle so much stress before my chest explodes due to my continuous hyperventilating.

"I don't think sushi will be good for your tummy if you eat it during our dinner though. Do you have anything else in mind?" Mother asks with a soothing voice.

I only grasp her hand tighter in response. The two of us continue to move forward and towards the direction of our home, leaving the beautifully blooming plum blossoms tree behind.

"…I don't really mind it much. Anything o-kaa-san cooks will be delicious anyway."

Hence, I hide the pain-staking, stressful thoughts away at the very back of my head. My eyes are focusing more towards the genuine smile gracing my mother's lips at the moment, to calm my inner panic attack that is.

* * *

**A/N:**

Yes. I am going to make Yuriko-chan (OC) and Natsumi as relatives. No need to complain about it – I am just plain biased like that, enough said. Also, the flower ayakashi or yōkai being Sakura and Yuriko-chan is something that I purposely made in comparison of Yamabuki Otome. Let's leave it at that considering I know some of you might want to ask about it.

Anyway, I want to mention that this is something that I created in a whim. I don't know where the story is leading, but I'm sure I can work the story plot out somehow. Thankfully, ideas after ideas enter my mind to secure another continuation of updates.

Finally, your constructive criticisms, encouraging words, and lovable opinion are some of the things that I hope to see inside my review box or within my PM Inbox, whichever you choose. However, forgive me in being blunt; I don't give a shit regarding flames. Hence, they will be ignored.

Well, I'm exhausted and in need of a good night sleep. Thank you for reading my work and have a good dream.

#HiddenSight48# - PEACE OUT!


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